


A Purpose

by duliner



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Memories, Odyssey, Odyssey AU, One Shot, Plot Twists, Weird Plot Shit, anyway [dies], just friends.....haha jk........unless?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:35:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24917677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duliner/pseuds/duliner
Summary: just some odyssey empire things, written as a gift
Relationships: Shieda Kayn/Jarvan Lightshield IV
Kudos: 8





	A Purpose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theburninghollytree](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theburninghollytree/gifts).



Leaning across the balcony, the man peered, searching for a particular figure among the steady stream of people crossing throughout the square below. Aware that he would most likely not be lucky enough to spot him, as the person he was searching for was skilled in remaining unseen until the perfect moment, he scoured over the people below nonetheless.

The sun was warm, and it soon lulled him into a more relaxed position as he peered with an easy gaze. Had he been more alert, he could’ve easily spotted the ripple of movement just on his right, yet he didn’t notice the person he’d been searching for spoke directly behind him.

“Looking for someone, my lord?” The blue haired man smirked when his old friend turned abruptly towards the sound of his voice.

Forcing a grimace to hide a grin, which probably proved unsuccessful, Jarvan shrugged. “Who knows, whoever they are must be a bloke.”

Raising a hand to his chest in mock offense, he pretended to stumble backwards. “I simply am coming back from my most _perilous_ journey!” Raising his nose, he sniffed. “But if that is not good enough for you, I can just go back and live with meeps.”

“You? Living with meeps? I’d love to see that.” Composing himself, he continued on the track he’d originally intended on being on. “What did you find, Kayn?”

Pulling out a drive, he handed it to the Emperor. “This, and a further clue as to where the Morning Star crew is.” Frowning, he hissed. _“And do you have a better lead if my plan is so terrible?”_

His scythe. Jarvan... wasn’t really comfortable with the thing. For one, it was a _Darkin_ , and for another, it spoke to Kayn, and from what he knew it was trying to use his body and mind as a host for its own agenda. Not something he really wanted for his friend.

...

Jarvan had also heard about or seen - _and witnessed_ \- Kayn temporarily losing control to the weapon... being. It was a trade for power, it was bound to end in a... rather dangerous way. He just hoped it was in Kayn mastering the ancient monster’s power. And he’d do all he could to help him win. That’s the least he could even try to, wasn’t it?

Tuning back in, he frowned.

_“No. We are not going to do that._ Why should I listen to a fancy farm tool, anyway?” Glowering at the weapon, Kayn answered in a roar. “YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT ME. . . . Well, you could. I know you don’t want to do that, though.”

Clearing his throat, Jarvan raised a hand in a questioning gesture.

Taken aback immediately, as if he’d forgotten the Emperor was there, Kayn nodded, quickly composing himself. “My apologies, sir.” _Sir._ Rarely something the ... rather rebellious man used, especially not for his oldest friend.

“Mm... if you need to go... deal with _that_ , feel free. We can always talk later.” As much as he distrusted the Darkin weapon, which Kayn referred to as Rhaast on occasion, Jarvan knew certain precautions and exceptions must be taken for its sake. He wasn’t sure if Kayn should have ever even gone looking for the thing.

Then again, his friend had always told him he fretted too much. Jarvan was unable to really help it, however. It was natural and genuine concern, as he _did_ care deeply for his friend. He was one of the few he could even call that, and they both knew things that if anyone else in the empire found out about, it surely wouldn’t end well.

_Such as...._

Nevermind. It was best not to dwell on such things.

Glaring at the weapon with a fire he appeared to only have for it, the shorter figure sighed. “Your office, tonight?”

“We can eat dinner in there,” Jarvan agreed, nodding, with a trace of an anxious smile on his face.

Kayn briefly looked him up and down. “You should probably fix your hair. It looks like a fucking mess.” Dipping his head lightly, he turned towards the wall.

“Is that any way to speak to an _emperor?_ ” He prodded back, but Kayn had already disappeared.

. . . .

Looking in the mirror, Jarvan had to agree with his friend. His hair _was_ a mess. It usually was, however, it was more so today. Sighing, he had nothing better to do, so he opted for a long bath, to detangle and wash his hair with luxury. He had plenty of time in case he fell asleep, which he tended to do in such baths. He wouldn’t want to keep Kayn waiting, would he?

. . . .

Some hours later, presumably, Jarvan woke up in the bath, the water a bit colder now. Hopefully it wasn’t too late, now. Clambering out, he dried himself off, and donned a far more casual outfit.

He was only seeing Kayn, after all.

Sitting down in his office, which was attached to his bedroom chamber, he glanced outside. It was nearly sunset. Pulling the drive out of his pocket, he moved to plug it in, but hesitated. Best to wait for Kayn to explain, first. Then they could inspect it, together, though there was no doubt in the man’s mind that the Ordinal had already thoroughly inspected any necessary information within its simple structure.

If it contained new information to Kayn to begin with.

His mind wandered back to a few months ago, when Kayn had shown up, bags under his eyes far darker than normal, and had regretfully handed the emperor a similar drive. That one had contained footage of Yone, a soldier in the empire’s army, who was serving as a guard, being slain by Kayn. His friend had sworn to him he had no intention of killing him, that Rhaast had been in control, but nonetheless, Jarvan _had_ been angered. Yasuo had been condemned, and accused by _Kayn_ , for murdering his brother. Turns out he hadn’t even _been_ there. How long had Kayn had that knowledge? Too long, for Jarvan’s standards. The Ordinal had been confined to the castle for a few months following that incident. Eventually, Jarvan didn’t see a point in attempting to contain him, but insisted he work harder for dominance over the wretched being residing in his weapon.

From what he could observe, it worked like a drug. Once a mortal got a taste of that raw power, they craved more, until they were overtaken by the monster itself.

Jarvan’s thoughts were interrupted by a rapping at his door as someone brought in their meal. Thanking them, he felt... slightly hollow.

Shieda Kayn had changed because of this Darkin, and Jarvan feared it wasn’t for the better. And it was that revelation that scared him the most. He couldn’t remove him from Ordinal ranks, he couldn’t remove the weapon. Shieda was.. _a risk_ , but really? It was one Jarvan was willing to take. He cared deeply for the man. He just hoped he was trying as hard as he claimed to vie for control, for power, for dominance.

If he won, he’d be one of the greatest Ordinals, if not more. _More._ What would he be then? Not quite human, not with the amount of power he spoke of.

_Worthiness, greatness, dominance, powerful._ His friend believed himself to be all of those things, if not more already. Shieda was... prideful. Perhaps too much for his own good, but that was the truth to it.

If he lost....

Jarvan didn’t want to consider the alternative. Best not to dwell on the worse side of things.

Or the fact that there’d be an untamable Darkin free to roam anywhere in the empire he pleased, with little to no control over it.

Glancing up in time to see his friend slip through the shadows, he sighed. “You could always use the door, you know. It doesn’t bite.”  
  


“This is more fun, though.” Shrugging, Shieda took a seat across from the emperor, and Jarvan was pleased to note that the scythe was out of reach, leaning against a wall. Leaning forward, Kayn raised his eyebrows. “Shrimp, a nice enough dinner.”

“Mhm...” Popping one into his mouth, he tried to quench the uneasy feeling residing in his gut, though that effort seemed unsuccessful. “So.. what’s on this drive you’ve got?”

Shieda let him wait for an answer, as he leisurely ate some shrimp and sipped his wine. “New information on a series of attacks and disappearances within the empire. Not too big but, concerning patterns nonetheless.”

“Then why deal with such a sense of urgency?” Jarvan had been notified by Shieda two days prior that he’d arrive with urgent news. “Surely you could deal with this on your own?”

“Yes...but...” Sighing, the Ordinal moved his feet from on top of the desk to look Jarvan in the eyes. “That wasn’t the urgent news I came to deliver.”

Brow furrowing, he pressed forward. “Then what is it? An artifact?” _If it’s so urgent, why haven’t you already told me? Why play this silly game?_

“It’s because it isn’t my job to collect them.” Vague as he pleased, as per usual for the lean man. Sighing, he waved his hand to the right in a shrugging motion. “It’s Nakuri.”

_Nakuri._

“The Commander went missing months ago. What happened?” Concern crept into his voice, face laden with anxiety as he stood up. “How did you find him and where is he and why didn’t _you_ bring him back?”

Grimacing, Shieda... _averted his eyes_. That was unexpected. “Maybe I found some things out.”

“What would stop you? Shie...I... _what did you do?_ ” Voice suddenly icy, Jarvan hounded on his friend. There was no other explanation and he needed to _know_. To fix this. To do _something,_ for fuck’s sake.

Flinching back a bit, Kayn opened his mouth, and then his eyes narrowed. **_“Wouldn’t you like to know what we did? We had quite a bit of fun together, then.”_**

_The Darkin._

Kayn had...spoken like this before. Or rather, Rhaast had. But that meant Kayn was not in control, and Jarvan was in danger.

Leaning back with booming laughter, Kay- _Rhaast_ shook his head. _**“You think I want your pathetic flesh? Not yet, dear Emperor.”**_ Turning, he said. _**“Making them near kill each other... that was quite the-”**_

Breaking free of the Darkin’s grasp, he assumed, Shieda collapsed to the floor.

Jarvan barely noticed. _Why didn’t Shie trust him?_ Had he done something wrong? He wasn’t great at being a friend, he was a worse leader, but he’d expect his closest friend to trust him enough to...tell him these things. More so as he was an _Ordinal_.

_What happened to Nakuri?_ Jarvan had sent Kayn to search for him, had he known all this time? Was this wild goose chase intentional? _What was Rhaast capable of?_

And did Jarvan really want to find out?

The answer to that.. would be no. He’d greatly prefer that Shieda dominate the weapon than it dominate him.

“Mm...sorry about that.” Shieda clambered to his feet and stretched. “Didn’t mean to fall over.”

Did he remember what had happened? Should Jarvan remind him? At this point...he wasn’t too sure about that. Not at all. So he decided against it, and just went along. “No worries. But, about Nakuri?” His demeanor shifted again as he asked. “What happened, and what _did you do?_ ”

“I...” Sighing, Shieda splayed his hands. “It happened when we found Rhaast.” Glancing ruefully at the weapon, he continued. “Nakuri found something and I went out after it. Instead of reporting to you, actually.” Gaining some confidence at Jarvan’s taken aback glare, he shrugged. “And Nakuri tried to kill me. In return, I tried to kill him. Not out of control. Because of it. Him. The scythe, Darkin, Rhaast, whatever.”

He wasn’t anxious, as he usually was. Jarvan was _angry._ Extremely so. _"_ _So you left him? Left him and reported he was missing? And what were you doing on those ‘search missions,’ then? He was your **FRIEND, SHIEDA** , he was your friend, and you left him. For what? Power?”_

“I....I..” Shieda screamed into the palms of his hands. “I know! I know I fucked up! But you haven’t touched Rhaast. You don’t know how he slips into your mind.”

_"And I don’t want to._ It slips into your mind. It consumes you.” Surprisingly, Jarvan was near tears. “It’s already doing it, and I just want you to _win_.”

Softly, in a strained voice, filled with absolute anguish, he added, looking at Shieda, “I just want _you back_.”

“I never left, alright? I didn’t. I’m changing, and it’s for the better of the empire.” The words _stung_ Jarvan. Perhaps too much, but still did, nonetheless. “I need to do this.”

“And I _want_ to let you. I do...so much. But you...this.... _look at everything you’ve done._ Look at Yone, Nakuri, the weapon, _everything, Shieda._ You...I just....” Flailing his hands, Jarvan turned away, yet his friend slipped to his side, grabbing on his arm, and as soon as Jarvan pulled away, he regretted it. “It’s not _safe_.”

Spinning the emperor around, Kayn was nearly hissing his words. “Nothing’s safe here. That’s how it is. Maybe I’m an ora-crazed lunatic, as some would like to claim. But I am doing it for the empire.”

“Are you?” The words were soft, whispered even, yet threatening.

Kayn’s voice was firm. “I am. I’m doing it for _you._ ” Clenching and unclenching his jaw, he leaned his head forward, the gap between their lips minuscule.

That. That was. _Oh._ Not what he expected. At all. And there was so much that they needed to talk about, so much that made this feel not okay.

Yet Jarvan didn’t push Shieda away when he closed the gap, and they kissed. A desperate, needy kiss, unprepared and off guard, tangled with fierce emotions.

At some point, Jarvan began crying. His body was soon racked with aching, heaving sobs, and they pulled apart, and Shieda’s gentle hands were there.

“What’s wrong, Jarvan?” That was the first time Shieda had called him that since he’d returned. No one here often called him by name. Did he miss it?

Gesturing, he leaned closer against the slighter frame. “I just...I... Why do you want this? I support you, but....where is this going to _take_ you?” _Is it going to take you away from me?_ “Why do you want these brutal strategies? Why can’t you be satisfied..” The last part...that was a statement, he wasn’t asking, yet he had no answers.

_Why can’t you be here?_ He knew why. Jarvan wasn’t a _fool_. But he was _tired_ , and that made his words fall out, messy and unprepared.

“Because I search for my purpose, Jarvan.”

. . . .

_His purpose..._

Gagged and waiting in a cellar somewhere, years later, Jarvan couldn’t help but wonder if this had been the ‘purpose’ he’d spoken of that night, years ago.

**Author's Note:**

> bon anniversaire, mon clair de lune
> 
> tis the third ver because SOMETHING [glares at google docs] decided to destroy my previous copies.
> 
> might write a sequel fic, idk


End file.
